Being the ball.
I’ve been thinking a bit recently about how much has changed in me and my life over the last 12 months and how much I have learnt. It’s actually quite extraordinary when I really stop and think about it. I decided yesterday to choose one monumental change that I felt had had the biggest impact on my life in 2012 and one change I knew would continue to impact my life moving forward.
Firstly, to put things in perspective. This time last year I was living alone at my parent’s holiday house on the East Coast of Tasmania with my dog, recovering from CFS. At this time I still had a recruitment company (minus any actual recruitment activity) and recruitment was all I knew. I had NO idea what was going to happen in my life post recovery but one thing I was finally learning (at almost 40 years) was that I had to stop trying to control my life and everything in and around it because the universe had plans for me irrespective (as it did with the CFS diagnosis!). I also knew I had to stop trying to control my body and speed up it’s recovery because that was one battle I eventually realised (with some strong words from my doctor) that I was never going to win.
I moved back to Melbourne 5 months ago. I mean this when I say I honestly had no idea what I would do next. All I knew is that I needed to find somewhere to live and the rest would sort itself it out eventually, somehow. And far out has it sorted itself out. Five months later I am a Reiki Practitioner and a student at The Institute of Integrative Nutrition in NYC. I am writing a cook book and have received some exciting offers to write as a guest blogger on websites, newsletters and an online magazine next year. In 6 weeks I will be a Practitioner in NLP, EFT, Hypnosis and a bundle of other Alternative Therapies.
This takes me back to the point of this post and what I believe has been the most fundamental change in me this year – and this fantastic quote from TY Webb via Soul Sessions sums it up beautifully:
Just a couple of years ago this quote would have meant nothing. I had everything planned out and was constantly trying to control everything around me. I worried incessantly about all the “what if’s” – from relationships, my future, my living situation and every conceivable potential disaster that could occur in my business. With every thought I considered the negative – my analytical brain took me there every time (I know, exhausting). But that was then and I now have CFS to thank for helping me realise that so much of my life was and is out of my control. That if I simply stopped thinking, had faith in the universe to point me in the right direction, carried on doing those things that made me happy and gave me immense satisfaction each day – everything would be ok, I would learn to “..let things happen and be the ball..”
So this is my modus ‘modis operandi’ these days. Each day I get up and head in the direction that ‘feels’right. I commit to doing those things that I believe will contribute to my future – be that writing a blog post, creating a new recipe, giving a reiki treatment, meeting a new and amazing contact through instagram. Right now I still couldn’t tell you how my life is going to look in 12 months or how I will be earning a living at that time – and for the first time in my life that is totally OK. In fact it is more than OK because firstly, I fundamentally believe 2013 is going to be unbelievably exciting and secondly, I don’t have to worry anymore, and worrying is totally exhausting.
Happy New Year’s Eve everyone. For those of you needing a little encouragement to ‘let go’ I truly hope this provides some inspiration.
Until next year,